I wanted to write to you for a while now – I haven’t exactly been using social media very much, except for some random posts here and there, videos etc. I feel somehow compelled to release some of my thoughts on life and music to you – that’s actually the core of what it is I am doing as a musician — understanding the ocean deep inside of me, and letting that out in hopes of connecting with you. I feel like I have found something so wonderful, so true, that I need to share it. And the thing is, I can’t even share it in one paragraph, or even one hundred – this is something that I’ll be sharing over time, as the seasons change, as my face begins to age… I feel like the luckiest man on earth. I have the best friends on earth, who support me and are there for me when I need help — friends who also are directly involved with the music I’m making and my music career. Makes me wonder if there is ever a line between business and love, or if the two are dancing closely around a bright fire. These feelings are what make my world magical, colorful, unexplainable. The intense feeling of a new love, the crippling sadness of a bruised ego, the complete high of playing a kickass rock show – they are all part of me, but, they aren’t ME. I used to have difficulty distinguishing between the different faces that I wear throughout the day, wondering if I am just pretending, wondering how important it really is to act based on how I am feeling in a particular moment. And then I sit down. And I remind myself to breathe. And the intense feelings disappear, and I can once again see this melancholy beauty that I thrive on, that I love so much — a thick fog all around me, a peace I can’t explain. It’s not a sadness, it’s an equilibrium – it’s not overjoyed with happiness or love, it’s not depressed or desperate, it’s a glowing blue core that is filled with emotions, but contained in a way that allows me to look even deeper, and feel even more for myself and other people. In this state I feel powerful, connected and in control — a balance between reality and the spiritual world around me.
And I know this will disappear, it’s only natural, day by day as events meaningful or dull, pass by, but it’s a place I strive to always come back to. I guess I could call it a home of sorts, a place of acceptance and understanding.
I’m gonna be on the road a lot in 2019, and I would love to see you and sing some songs together.
“What a beautiful face | I have found in this place |That is circling all round the sun”