Reading Ecclesiastes for the fifth time, and every time I read this, it’s as if I’ve forgotten about the last time I read it. I mean, how could it be SO easy to slip back into a nihilistic mindset? How can I so quickly lose passion in all I do?

Perhaps it’s just a wave, like everything — some light days, some dark days. And it’s tough, because I expect every day to be light, love, filled with music and joy.

Maybe we were created so — at certain ages we view the world in such ways. Can you control this? Can you just make yourself love the days?

I struggle to comprehend this world, and I never will understand it, like you, like them. But, what is it that sucks out all the meaning from the things I love — music, food, people.. Is it time itself, or just a chemical in my brain?

Where does compassion come from, where does love come from.

I don’t know if those are the right questions.

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